dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
