Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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