If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
