You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
