we're blogging at a bar
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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