on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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