And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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