I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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