please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
