Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(225): View more from Louisiana

"Monday" is guna come over...

(1-225): View more from Louisiana

but its Thursday?

(225): View more from Louisiana

yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go

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(602): View more from Arizona

hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad

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(917): View more from New York City

No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.

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(802): View more from Vermont

you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk

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(513): View more from Ohio

We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.

(740): View more from Ohio

Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys

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(331): View more from Illinois

So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.

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