There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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