and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
