I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
