Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
