She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
