I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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