I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
