I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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