garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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