the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
