sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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