I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
