Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
