Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
