I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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