Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
