Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?

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(951): View more from California

Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?

(949): View more from California

Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses

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(706): View more from Georgia

You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over

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(330): View more from Ohio

hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.

Fav 6 668 1162
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(248): View more from Michigan

Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.

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(518): View more from New York

He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.

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