So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
