Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
