Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
