She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
