Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
