She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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