Im at strip club and am horny
i permit you to call me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
