So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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