You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
