going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
