worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I fill condoms, not promises.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
