sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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