trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
