Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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