You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
