I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
