Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
