my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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