is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
