Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How does one acquire holy water?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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