So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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