omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
being pregnant is like rehab
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
