My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
